Live Life to the Fullest....Stands true.

Always tell the person that you love that you love them all the time when ever you get the chance. I could not imagine finding out something happening to JJ. On Christmas Eve after church service seeing live animals and little kids acting out the birth of Christ and being with friends and family JJ found out that 2 of his best friends were killed earlier that day during an avalanche. My heart broke for JJ and the family and friends of Erik and Jesse. Erik was married 3 months ago (I remember Josh showing me the invitation with their pictures on it), I could not imagine what went through his wife' s head at the moment she found out. I don't know what would go through my head, would it be something like "These people are playing a dirty joke", "what in the world am I going to do?", "why?", and of course the break down of tears. My heart goes out to her.

That same day we also found out that my cousin had her 1st baby. She had a beautiful baby boy. What a Christmas present that was! In one day just a few hours apart from each other God shows you what he can do. Bring someone into the world and out. And He shows you how short life can be that you should hold on to the people you love and not let go! JJ is on a plane now going back home (which I had to laugh because it has been 70 out here and he is going to be in the snow within one day!). I really wanted to go with him not only to spend time with him and to be with him but to see his family! I haven't seen his brothers and sister for a year now and his parents since May. They are a wonderful family which I can't wait to join. I couldn't go because I have a doctor's appointment for surgery! That is another story for a different day.

Hold on to the people you love and hug and kiss them everyday and always say you love them!


JJ~ I love you and always will!

Been awhile...

So alot has happened since the last time I was on here. I got my wisdom teeth out which was not bad until I started using that stupid mouthwash. So they give you this mouthwash that most people to no have allergic reactions too except for me! I used it for 4 days before it started to break the inside of my mouth out with tiny cold sores all over my mouth. On Wesnesday it was so bad I could hardly talk (I am sure JJ liked that), so he took me to the oral surgeon and he said "Stop that mouthwash and start another one." Well that didn't work so last night I went to CVS to pick up a steriod mouthwash. I go back to the oral surgeon Monday afternoon. Luckly I have been on Motrin 800mg so I haven't been having as much pain in my stomach as I was. It is still there but not as bad, thank goodness!

JJ came for Thanksgiving!! I hadn't seen him since the end of August! Long time. I enjoyed every second he was out here. We went and had our engagement pictures taken (after a year of being engaged)! They are in the posting. We spent so much time together and of course it was hard for me to watch him leave but I held it together and saw him leave and am still holding up pretty well. I know a break down will come soon, not only because JJ left but something will set the trigger off this week (I am thinkg Monday or Friday, we will see which day and what the trigger is).

Well I know it is early but I am falling asleep sitting here. Good night and have a great week!

Snow....

It snowed today here in VA!!! I felt like I was in a snow globe! It was so exciting and it is only November. Alright so it only flurried and it didn't stick to the ground or anything. Here when it snows or the weather man is calling for snow everyone goes crazy! Stores run out of milk and bread, schools close before it starts, and people don't drive. We are lucky to get snow that sticks to the ground here. Over Christmas I went out to Utah for my 1st time. I remember the airplane landing and there was snow everywhere and it was snowing!!! I had never seen so much snow before in my life. I have learned what to wear (sweatshirts and big sweaters and warm boots!!). The thing that amazed me when I was out there besides the temperature being colder than I thought it could go was people drove in the snow! Being in VA we do not drive in the snow if you do it is because you have to. Today it brought back my trip to Utah and all that snow (plus the greatest future in-laws ever!) and driving because we were talking about driving in it.

Anyways off my snow (which is no longer here) JJ IS COMING!!! I am so excited! I have not seen him since the end of August. While he is here we are getting our engagement pictures taken (yes I know we have been engaged for a year but its better late than never!) and I am making Thanksgiving dinner! Which can be scary! I am still learning how to cook and Thanksgiving dinner is a big step! I told JJ that he has to eat it and tell me that is the best food ever and not complain! I am also getting my wisdom teeth taken out on this Friday which they said my mouth will be better by Thanksgiving! Which that better be true! Well good night and have a great week!

Hope for more snow!

(The picture was from my trip and I can't wait to see that again!)

Why can't they figure it out?

So for the past week I have been in and out of the doctor's office. Between my family doctor and the GYN they are making some great money. I went to my GYN and she did an ultrasound and found nothing wrong with my ovaries and tubes which was exciting but still left that "what is wrong with me then?" in my head. She told me to go to my family doctor for them to run the full work up and if it came back negative then it could be Endometriosis and the only way to figure that out is by cutting me open (ok its just a small cut) to look inside. Endometriosis is where the tissue in your uterus can grow on the outside of the uterus. It can lead to infertility and spontaneous abroptions. Scary stuff. So I went to my family doctor and she did the full work up, well the only thing that was left was for a CT scan.

Yesterday I went to get my CT scan done. First of all you have to drink barium. Not good. When I got there they attempted to put an IV in me! You know when you know someone is not going to get the IV in, I knew that he wasn't going to get it! I was right. So another guy came in to put in the IV and he put it in on the side of my wrist....wanted to cry.... So my CT scan went fine and they found nothing wrong but the final results will be in on Monday. So it is back to my GYN.

Anyways, I have to get back to writing my history paper that is due on Sunday! Have a wonderful day!

Morning in the ER...

Today was the 1st day of my life I have ever gone to the hospital for myself. Last night I was having pain around my right ovary. Well it just wouldn't go away and my uncle had told me last night that if it didn't go away and I had nausea I needed to go to the ER. So this morning I woke up and of course the pain was still there and I thought all my insides were going to come out! So I tired to forget about it except the pain took me to my knees. I went and told my mom that the pain was still there and i couldn't function so sure enough we were off to the ER.

We got to the ER around 6:45 am (great shift change!!). I sat in the waiting room for about 15 minutes (which at this hospital your wait time is less then 30minutes). I went back and the nurse took my blood pressure and asked me a bunch of questions, but nothing about my family history, which is kinda of important when Chron's disease runs in the family and stomach pain and nausea is a sign of it. But anyways they took me back to a room and asked me to pee in a cup, well normally I can pee with no problem but not when I'm told to so they gave up on that for then. The doctor came in and kept asking me if I was pregnant. I kept saying "no,no, no!" but he would not listen to me. So he made me lay down and started to touch my stomach and he said "I can't fell anything.." My response "THAT HURTS!!" He then decided well lets start on IV and run some tests. What goes through my head is 'oh my goodness what are you going to do to me?'

My IV gets started with about a dozen pieces of tape to where I can't move my arm and 10 tubes of blood were taken. So I am sitting there waiting and waiting for my "tests" to be run. Well come to find out I still had to pee in the cup to find out if I am pregnant. So that finally happened and they ran a pregnancy test....hahaha they just didn't believe me. Well then the doctor came back and said he is going to send me for an ultrasound to look at my ovaries because it is not my appendix (yes! no surgery!).

Ultrasounds are very interesting. seeing your insides is really cool. So that happened and the results were normal. So the "wonderful" doctor came back and said "Nothing is wrong you can go now."

Well I was not satisfied at all because there was pain in my body and I want to know what it is. So I get a little worried because it is over my ovaries and I don't want anything to happen to my ovaries. I am 21 and want kids down the road. I have that mommy gene in my body that always says baby, baby, baby. I love kids and babies and being around them they are great and always interesting and keeps you on your toes. But I want kids one day and so does JJ and I want our kids to be healthy and ours. I think adoption is great and is a wonderful thing but I want mine and JJ's baby together, our own blood baby.

Anyways so I went to my family doctor and she said that it is my ovaries and I need to go to my GYN. So I talked to them and I am going Thursday afternoon. I know everything is going to be fine I just don't want to be in pain and I want everything to be good.

Well I am going to go to bed because it has been a long day. Good night!

1st time....

This is my 1st blog ever!! I am very excited about this! I decided to start blogging just to get everything that is on my mind off (even if nobody reads it). For starters I am a student trying to figure out what career is right for me! All my life I have always wanted to be a nurse untill I got into nursing school and got half way through it! I loved clinicals and helping people (babies mainly) but the tests are what get me! For the past couple of months I have been rethinking everything with nursing and thinking that I should go into teaching. But thats a whole story in itself.

The next thing I want to talk about is my 3 Joshs (they all are part of my life):
-The 1st Josh is my brother. He is 19 and going into education.
-The 2nd Josh is one of my bestfriends. I call him Big Josh. I have known him since I was a little girl. We have been friends forever. He lives in FL and has been there for most of his life now.
-The 3rd Josh is the man of my dreams. We have been dating for almost 3 years (in Feb.) and have been engaged for a year. We are just now starting to plan our wedding which is exciting and stressful! He is in the Army. We met on the internet when I went on to find a solider to adopt (who knew I would find the man that I would spend the rest of my life with). I call him JJ (but he doesn't know that just yet). I love him with all my heart and fall in love with him more and more every day.

I try to lead a vey intersting live and keep everyone on their toes! I am vey excited about letting everyone know about me and getting everything in my head out there for everyone to read!

Good night everyone!